An open apology to fat people

Two years ago I married my beautiful wife and adopted her two children. Two weeks later I quit smoking at 23 after 7 years. That probably marks the moment it started.
Having spent my life physically active through skateboarding and cycling and being “naturally” skinny I began to notice changes in my body. For the first time in my life I developed an upper body workout routine consisting of sit-ups and weight lifting and have kept it going fairly consistently. Still, a subtle gut developed along with the dreaded man boobs.
I pressed on upping my cycling to two hours a day, 34 for miles in all but this barely seems to hold back full on explosion in pounds. It’s now that I reflect on my assumptions about weight loss and fat people.
“Eat a salad” is a really easy thing to say when you’ve never had to make yourself totally unsatisfied with your food. Mind you, I quit smoking. I broke a fucking nicotine addiction and still can’t control my eating. Weight isn’t like lung capacity. It doesn’t improve several hours after change, you just hope the suffering amounts to something and move on. But you need no form of nicotine. You can drop it and never be reminded. But food you have to return to in some form and that makes hard not to return to it in all forms.
I always knew people battling their weight and always thought ‘just ride a bike like I do’. 34 miles a day I’d say is more physical exercise than most people and it hardly seems to mean a damn thing. I now know the frustration of fighting a gravitational pull and feeling like nothing works.
To all those people I gave off the cuff suggestions to having never been fat myself, I’m sorry. I had no idea what I was talking about. If you’re trying to fight then never let anyone give you shit. I was an asshole and I’m sorry.

Today was a rare occasion in which I went on a bike ride that didn’t end in work. Actually there really wasn’t an end in sight. Originally there had been a very loose plan to do the lolo pass loop, a route both justin and I had glanced at on the internet without actually memorizing. This plan was soon abandoned when we realized at about ten miles in that there was no cell signal and neither of us had a GPS.
You forget what it’s like in this modern day to ride blindly into wilderness with no chance of receiving a text or notification, to charge into a place with no USB ports with no direction. In reality, it’s pretty damn irresponsible. Had one of us broke a bone or had our bike breakdown we would have been royally fucked. But we were not so I digress.
We traveled lolo pass road up to a bridge that split off to an intriguing road that we couldn’t help but follow. It took us up to small campground called hidden creek camp. It had a small trail that boasted ‘beaver pond viewing’ as it’s climax. This turned out to be grossly over sold. The “pond” was about six feet by four puddle that housed a few frogs but no beavers. Many Fourth of July vacationers put out fires and shouted at their child and prepared to descend back to normality as two men wearing spandex pedaled past.
From there we explored a side path that turned out to be a sand pit that our tires could not handle. We discovered a mound of discarded car parts lazily thrown only slightly off the road. We rejoined the main road and continued upwards.
The road turned to gravel and the dry thin forest around became lush thick jungle around the creek that wound down the hillside. We briefly entertained the idea of wading into the creek but the fresh snow run off made it far to frigid so we pressed on.
The road wound back and fourth getting steeper all the time till eventually Justin’s gear ratio only allowed him to spin gravel so he started walking and by this point I didn’t argue. We climbed on till we reached yet another anticlimactic end. The trail head was a parking lot for a few volvos and an outhouse. We looked around and discussed plans for the loose steep descent.
The road down cut back and fourth, controlling gravel slides and squeezing my brake levers until my hand grew sore. The breaks of life peppered the ground through the tree ceiling camouflaging the potholes and the occasional Subaru full of hikers posed an accidental game of chicken.
Reaching the icy creek again we rinsed our caps under the watch of some ancient cedars and surveyed the marshlands nearby. We lunched on peanuts and pork jerky and rationed out the last of our spare water bottle as we prepared to retrace our steps.
The return to the car was a silent ride, both of us tapping our energy reserving looking eagerly around every bend hoping to see where the car was parked. Waves of smells from the evergreens and the river and occasional campfire and blackberry bush rushed the senses as we blasted back down lolo pass.
Driving back to sandy we had hoped for burgers and beers at the elusive trout pub only to find it closed because it was Monday. Instead we bought beers at a plaid pantry and burritos at a Mexican deli inside a gas station and sat on a curb.
As a dad that works full time these moments come less often and take on greater majesty in my mind but this was surely a victors feast.


The answer is love.




April fools history

One day you’ll wish for death. You’ll hate your heartbeat, your rotten breath, that rattle sound within your chest. You’ll wish for death you’ll wish for rest.
One day you’ll long for peace, to lay your mind and soul at ease, to give your anxiety and fears release, to torch your twitches and pet peeves till nothing’s left. Yes one day you will wish for death.
One day you’ll wish your sagging skin to rot from your aching bones, you’ll wish your ugliness and age to leave you alone, to give your shell back to earth to become fertilizer and maggot nest. Yes one day you’ll wish, you’ll beg for death.
One day you’ll wish to never see my face again, to never let me burden you or cause you pain. One day you’ll wish to drift from me and life as though adrift in a river. Yes one day you’ll wish for death and one day I’ll deliver.

I don’t make movies for critics, I make movies for [stupid] people

In a recent interview Andrew Garfield expressed a freedom in playing spider man void of scrutiny with the phrase ‘screw the critics.’
While not the most relevant context of this attitude it’s a phrase that I find to be very low in the filmmaking. It’s a phrase spat by people like Michael Bay who seem to think it a more grass roots humanity oriented view of film making and they usually hope to give this impression to the general public. What do they have to gain by conveying this attitude? Simple, to half ass a movie.
You see series like twilight have a prebuilt fan base of people who are going to raid that box office regardless of how bad the movie is. This is where the it’s up to the fan to demand a better movie. Not a single twilight movie has a positive score on rotten tomatoes and yet they were all box office hits. Why? Because the filmmaker a could. Because they made films for people not critics.
The makers of the twilight movies took advantage of the eager fans the same way any filmmaker carrying on a pre-sold series installment can. When you make four movies there’s time to correct for a mistake and get it right the next time, you have to consciously choose to ignore issues and move on in favor of pushing out another cheap box office hit for people tether to the sinking ship of a series.
So while it’s great to have a filmmaker or actor appeal to please the fans, remember that if they’re making films for people not critics they’re usually trying to appeal to fans who don’t pay attention to direction, acting, script, special effects and so on. Don’t be that fan.

The anal apple

The anal apple


                             NINTENDO 3DS XL PIKACHU                                       SPECIAL EDITION                                            GIVEAWAY!you want to play pokèmon x/y but have no nintendo 3ds? well you’re lucky !
i just want to do another give-away because my last one was going so welll ! so i’m going to give away one of my nintendo 3ds xl. i have two nintendo 3ds xl because my other one was a premium offer from my dad’s work.
Rules♥ mbf y-ukki (i will check)♥ only reblogs count (but you may like the post to save it!)♥ reblog as many times as you want♥ must have your ask box open so we can alert winners♥ must be willing to give me your address.♥if you are underaged you will need a permission of your parents.♥ the winner will be choosen randomly by random.org♥ no giveaway blogs !♥ That’s about it. Ends december, 1st :3


                             NINTENDO 3DS XL PIKACHU 
                                      SPECIAL EDITION

you want to play pokèmon x/y but have no nintendo 3ds? well you’re lucky !

i just want to do another give-away because my last one was going so welll ! so i’m going to give away one of my nintendo 3ds xl. i have two nintendo 3ds xl because my other one was a premium offer from my dad’s work.

♥ mbf y-ukki (i will check)
♥ only reblogs count (but you may like the post to save it!)
♥ reblog as many times as you want
♥ must have your ask box open so we can alert winners
♥ must be willing to give me your address.
♥if you are underaged you will need a permission of your parents.
♥ the winner will be choosen randomly by random.org
♥ no giveaway blogs !
♥ That’s about it. Ends december, 1st :3



RIP Marcia Wallace (November 1, 1942 - October 25, 2013)

"I was tremendously saddened to learn this morning of the passing of the brilliant and gracious Marcia Wallace. She was beloved by all at The Simpsons, and we intend to retire her irreplacable character." - Al Jean (showrunner of The Simpsons)

RIP Mrs K.